I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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