the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
