If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He keeps bees of course he's weird
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
