Got a toothbrush?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
