I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
