thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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