That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
