Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
