so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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