ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
