Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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