I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
