whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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