It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
