Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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