i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
