I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
