if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
