You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
