butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
