i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
