operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
