where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
