is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
