toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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