If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
In America we eat man semen.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
