Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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