Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
