GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
