one might say we're banned from that church
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
