90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
