That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
