I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
