I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
