I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
