But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
