whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
