hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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