We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
