I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
