Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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