Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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