Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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