Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
