It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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