He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
