I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
