Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
