Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
