I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
