so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
