i already hear my dad disowning me
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
