I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
