so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
