DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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