So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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