i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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