I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
