Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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