that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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