oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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