Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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