Got a toothbrush?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You are a genius and a whore.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
