dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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