I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
