i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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