he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
