Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
